Wowza. 20 weeks of being pregnant! A whole 20 weeks of growing another little person in my tummy. I still find it absolutely amazing what a women’s body can do! This is our 20 week update, the journey so far with baby number 2!
Our TTC journey (in both pregnancies) have been far from easy (I will save that story for another time) so never did I ever think we would see those 2 lines appear again, until Christmas Eve 2018 and all our dreams came true – for the second time. Instantly I was overtaken by every possible feeling; excitement, anxiety, luck, anticipation – I’ve done this before, how different can it be?
As soon as I got that positive test at 4 weeks the nausea hit. It didn’t come as a shock – weeks 5-11 in my first pregnancy was filled with daily nausea, however after the 6 weeks it soon went. This time – oh no! Some might say I’m lucky that I am not physically sick but I can assure you feeling like your going to throw up all day and night isn’t pleasant. In fact it was exhausting, draining and horrid. Cooking dinner became a chore as I couldn’t be around the kitchen aromas and if there was any frying/onion/garlic involved my stomach turned. I’m also a huge tea drinker and couldn’t drink a single cup – my stomach just didn’t like it. I cant remember it being anywhere near this intense the first time. Along with the nausea the tiredness was on another level. Getting up in the morning and honestly wondering how I was going to get through the day. Maybe it was down to having a toddler at home to look after as well as the bubba growing in my belly but whatever the reasons – it was hard!
Week 7 arrived and we had an early scan – seeing that little heartbeat flickering away on the screen was such a relief. All of a sudden this was real and there really was another baby inside me. We couldn’t wait to get home and tell our little boy the news that he was going to have a sibling.
The nausea and tiredness continued – by week 8 I really began to struggle. I was fed up of feeling rubbish and this came with a lot of tears. I felt guilty for being so fortunate and lucky to be able to experience another pregnancy that we (and so many others) had longed for but to be feeling so sorry for myself. I was beginning to get a little bump (already!) and it was becoming harder & harder to keep our second little miracle a secret. We had our first midwife appointment, blood tests and the wait was on for the 12 week scan!
12 weeks (which felt like 12 years) arrived – hello little baby. Everything was perfect, you are perfect and we were so ready to share our news!
The next 8 weeks and the move into the second trimester did come with improvements. The tiredness and nausea (although still there) eased and I began to feel more like myself at last. The excitement kicked in, sharing with all our family and friends baby 2 was expected and buying our first little baby grow.
My body changed rapidly which I did really struggle with. I tend to pile on some weight during pregnancy (nearly 4 stone with my first) and the constant cravings for carbs, coke and chocolate did not help! I began to feel really self conscious and unhappy with the way I looked. ‘Its OK -your pregnant’ was repeated to me and yet again I felt swamped with feelings of guilt. After a few weeks and a serious talking to myself – I slowly began to embrace it and find my way with my pregnancy style.
I began to feel little bubbles and around 19 weeks the first kicks of our baby. such a magical feeling that will stay with me forever.
The eager wait began to find out the gender at our 20 week scan. I am so impatient. Was it another boy, would it be a girl? How nice would it be to raise two handsome brothers or how lovely would it be to know what its like to have a daughter too. The dream for me has always been to experience one of each but as long as they were healthy that was all that mattered.
20 weeks arrived and all was revealed….I will save that one for another time 🙂